Apple Sucks, Dude!!



When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house , I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home……wait a second, that was the Outsiders. Sorry for the plagiarism, Miss Hinton. I meant to pipe in about the Apple vs Android war that is all the rage.

If you’ve ever used the words “Apple Sucks” as your argument, then I’ve probably just dismissed you and haven’t tried to talk to you about it. There can be tons of reasons for not liking a product, but just tossing out “because it sucks, man” isn’t one of them. All that tells me is that you probably formed your opinion after looking at the front of a Wheaties box and saw your favorite star using something other than Apple. “Shit, Bruce Jenner likes it, it’s gotta be good”.

Nah, if you want to say that Apple sucks then at least have something to back it up…..something legitimate. I also see a whole lot of horse shit out there when these arguments start. Let me shoot down some of my favorites.

1) “Apple comes out with a brand new phone every year, money hungry bastards!!” This one has got to be the one that I give the “Highest Pile Of Steaming Horse Shit” award to. Dumbest argument that I’ve ever heard. Before getting into this blog I was curious as to how often Android phones are released. I mean, I’m an Apple user and it bothers me that they upgrade so often. Anyway, Android is an OS that will be hosted by many different phone makers, whereas Apple is just one. With that said, CLICK HERE to see a history of Android between 2009 and 2011. In just two years there are more phones on that page than I care to count. I repeat that the Android OS will be hosted on various manufacturers products so you can’t count every single one into the debate, but, if you look at Motorola alone, there has to be at least 20 different Motorola phones running Android. If I’m not mistaken, Apple has 6 (3, 3GS, 4, 4S, 5, 5S/5C). I’m not trying to say that the companies using Android are bad, all I’m saying is that EVERY SINGLE MANUFACTURER comes out with a new phone in about a year. They have to. Do you actually believe that Apple is going to put out a new iPhone and the other manufacturers aren’t going to put anything out to compete with that? That’s just silly. So, that argument is now squashed and you can no longer use it in good faith, because it’s a steaming pile of poo.

2) “The new iOS, or OS for the iMac’s and MacBooks, doesn’t support the apps/software I have on my 5 year old machine.” Ummm, Windows 8 won’t run a lot of software designed for Windows Vista. Need I really say more? New operating systems aren’t designed to run your old software, no matter if you’re Apple or PC. They don’t make money by allowing you to use old software/apps. (POW) Did you hear that? That was that argument being shot down….listen for the thud.

3) “Apple is so expensive” Ok, I’ll budge a little on this one. Apple products are expensive. 2 years ago when I got my first Mac I would have said ridiculously expensive, now, I’ll just say they are costly…..but you get what you pay for. My iPhone 4S is 2 years old, doesn’t have a scratch on it, and I’ve never had any issues with it other than right now this new iOS7 is sucking the battery like it’s a lollipop. I’ll find what’s eating it up though. Which takes us to…

4) Battery life. I hear so many non-iPhone using people saying things like “My battery lasts for 3 days” etc… No it doesn’t. It might if you never run anything, but if you’re watching YouTube, playing games etc… you have to charge your phone up everyday just like the rest of us. I have a Mophie Juice Pack, it’s a case with a built in battery that will charge my phone. The 2 together get me through the day with no problems. Sometimes, with light usage, I can even get half of another day in. That argument doesn’t float either. Move on!!

Now, for a legitimate gripe, I have a friend that said…

“I hate how apple controls every aspect of what you can do with your stuff”

Ok, that’s a fair argument, but I’d like to put my point of view on it. Apple doesn’t allow just anything to be put on it’s phones or computers. Every piece of software, every app etc… has to go through an approval system with Apple. Tight ass? You betcha, I won’t even argue that, but, with that said, you almost never have to worry about viruses and all other kinds of crap infecting your machine. I’m cool with that.


Which one is better? Neither one really. The best phone out there is the one that suits your needs. I make videos for YouTube, I surf the web, I check Facebook, Twitter, etc… I don’t play games. The iPhone does exactly what I need it to do. Will that be the same for you? Who knows, but before you decide, give them both an honest chance. Just saying that Apple sucks for the sake of saying it is ignorant.

As for the users of each, well, one of the reasons that Apple sets it’s prices so high is so they can cater to a specific demographic. They don’t want the toothless hillbillies in the trailer parks, usually known as Pittsburgh Steeler fans, advertising their gear. With that said, Apple surely has a large contingent of douche bags using their gear. The guys wearing wool caps in August and hipster glasses….you guys aren’t “cool”, you look more like a target for a punch in the throat than anything else.

Anyway, again, before making a decision on a phone, check them all out and see what your options are. And if you’re going to bring an argument against Apple, make it something more than “Apple sucks, dude!!”

Y’all come back, I’ll leave the light on for ya!




ex-pat American living in Japan since 1991. Love to play guitar and billiards. Love my Cincinnati Bengals too. Who-Dey!!
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5 Responses to Apple Sucks, Dude!!

  1. Andrew says:

    i didn’t always dislike apple but they’ve gone from offering a superior product waaay back in the day(actually superior hardware etc) and acquiring a huge fan base because of it -only to start offering over inflated products that sell the idea of how awesome they are over what they actually do. (which is LITERALLY apples M.O. …a product has to make u want it over everything else(i.e. usefulness or performance lol)

    apple went from actually having better hardware and software to what their business model is now…selling you the EXACT same hardware for more…they are incredibly greedy in that sense. and not that every corporation isn’t greedy but apple takes it to the next level(apple maps for example lol or the fact that until android was release there were VERY FEW free apps)..EVERYTHING they touch is proprietary and stifling to new development.

    and now we’re at the point in time where apple is not longer even really all that relevant so to speak…sure they still sell phones…but only to women an all the other uninformed people chasing an image(most of the time). the majority of the ground breaking development is being done elsewhere (i.e. in androids much more open environment?)

    …its like a big socio-economic study they’re carrying out and laughing at everyone buying their inferior shite lol
    – and all that is before going into detail about how they produce their products….not that most companies that big dont have skeletons but i haven’t heard of any other tech corps using conflict minerals or having to installed netting along the sides of their buildings to catch the ppl jumping from the roofs of their subsidiaries(who would rather kill themselves instead of making another iphone).

    p.s. lol i wrote that all out yesterday in a debate on a friends facebook wall but I feel its entirely applicable…

    and with much respect might i add that if you choose to be a conciousness consumer there are many non-iphone devices that would allow you to do all things you choose to use it for (“I make videos for YouTube, I surf the web, I check Facebook, Twitter, etc… I don’t play games.”) with the same ease as you do now …but for quite a bit less money -and without supporting the less than palatable business practices that Apple abuse internationally.

    once you fully understand what i just said and consider the fact that apple is no longer even the front runner in innovations…i really dont think there is much -if any- case to be made for getting an iphone any more….aside from being a mindless kind of ‘sheeple'(if you will) who’s priority is to get what their friends have and fit in.

    and thats why apple sucks lol :p

  2. Saffron says:

    The price being high to exclude toothless hillbillies isn’t true. It’s obvious you haven’t been in the States for a very long time because every hillbilly on the planet carries an iPhone.

    Android can also turn off malware and remove it from your device as soon as they find it, they just don’t dictate the kinds of apps that are allowed in the first place because they don’t disallow apps due to Apple’s own idea of morality (which I also find extremely hypocritical because Steve Jobs stole from almost everyone he knew… there are books everywhere that detail his deceptions). Android lets their users decide their own morality.

    The biggest problem I have with Apple users is that supreme sense of smug they exhibit that “I’m better than you because I have a MacBook Pro” attitude. I’ve never seen one thing that was created by these people that couldn’t have also been created by a competent Microsoft user. I won’t pay for their overpriced garbage. I don’t pay for other companies’ overpriced garbage either. I build my own computer equipment because it’s better than any manufacturer’s because I only buy quality parts but I can only use Microsoft and open source operating systems with my computer because Apple deems it so. They aren’t better, they are just easier to use if you are not really computer literate; and, they do everything in their power to keep their users from developing computer literacy.

  3. Dan Cowell says:

    Hey Mully, I agree with most of what you said, but I take issue with point #2, particularly this bit:

    “Ummm, Windows 8 won’t run a lot of software designed for Windows Vista. Need I really say more? New operating systems aren’t designed to run your old software, no matter if you’re Apple or PC.”

    As a Windows programmer I can vouch for Microsoft’s commitment to making old software work on new operating systems. They go so far as to replicate problems with older systems that some apps rely on (that is, the apps have been built to take advantage of Windows’ brokenness) to ensure they continue to work in newer versions. Here are some examples:

    There’s a nice summary for the non-technical here under the heading “The Two Forces at Microsoft”:

    This example is particularly poignant:

    “I first heard about this from one of the developers of the hit game SimCity, who told me that there was a critical bug in his application: it used memory right after freeing it, a major no-no that happened to work OK on DOS but would not work under Windows where memory that is freed is likely to be snatched up by another running application right away. The testers on the Windows team were going through various popular applications, testing them to make sure they worked OK, but SimCity kept crashing. They reported this to the Windows developers, who disassembled SimCity, stepped through it in a debugger, found the bug, and added special code that checked if SimCity was running, and if it did, ran the memory allocator in a special mode in which you could still use memory after freeing it.”

    The same approach has been applied for Vista, 7 and 8. No company can ensure 100% backwards compatibility, but Microsoft is streets ahead of Apple in that regard.

  4. Heidi says:

    Omg hilarious!

  5. glenpeck says:

    Ditto all three above! I’m a developer, I used to be a computer tech… Apple used to have more dependable product – until roughly the public release of OSX. Hardware tanked – Titanium G4 was barely worth the $50 bucks you pay for it on eBay today – and it was starting at $1500 or so! The unix core of OSX was promising – still is if you are a serious enthusiast – but their proprietary nature kept the platform from being maximized. Etc, etc, etc…

    Which brings us to their phones. While I agree that new versions of nearly every phone come out yearly (or more), it is not fair to say “there has to be at least 20 different Motorola phones running Android.” Those different phones are (largely) different product lines. iPhone is just one product line, and they are not interested in even last version support. That has always been true of Apple in this century, they support the latest, if you are one version back on any product, good luck.

    My biggest personal pet peeve with Apple is their insistence that what they have is even theirs! I can’t stand hearing “my iphone does XYZ.” No, it doesn’t. Some app that Apple installed for you without even asking does that – and by the way, that SAME APP likely exists for my Android… And I can update that app direct from the developer because there isn’t a 4 month review period. That is a long time in App Development and is why iPhones will always be 4-12 months behind the truly current technology that is running on Android. Yes, you can hack your phone if you want it to really sing with what is going available out there… But what is the reward you get for making your beautiful bit of hardware do just what you want (so you can be as cool as your Android touting friend)… Apple bricks your phone for you! WTF, you own it, you paid them a small fortune for it, why not simply tell you down the road, “oh sorry, you should not have done that, we can’t help you” like the rest of the world does? Their approach is to instead shut you down as if to say, “we can’t let you use a phone to do what you want, when we sold it too you we meant you could only change the look and feel, not make it BETTER!”

    Pretty much on a level of equal standing is my second biggest frustration with Apple… The false notion that they are immune to viruses! Originally they were less prone to hacks and viruses because their software simply did not allow access to anything. As the internet grew into the second reality that it is today, that all went away. Things needed to be opened up and they became more prone… But at barely double digit market share it wasn’t really worth a hackers time to target them. A few did and were successful, so the myth should have died say 10 years ago! But it persists and now extends to their phones… I don’t know why that is the case, each release of a new phone always includes bugs and security holes. I would go so far as to say iPhones are the new Windows Me on this front!

    I never bought WinMe, and I have no plans to buy an iPhone!

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