You Can’t Be Serious!

Long time, no see. Man, I can’t believe I haven’t posted here for over 3 years. Shame on me. Well, here I am and I’ve got something for you.

For the past week, I’ve been sidelined with a cold. It’s pretty much your standard fall turning to winter cold. Sinuses acting up, throat dry and scratchy, coughing, wheezing, congestion, and a slight fever. Not really hot enough to boil an egg, but, warm enough to make the skin on your back ache a little. Anyway, I bedded down with a box of cold medicine and a nice supply of cough drops. You know how that first coughing session of the season is. After about the 2nd day you’ve coughed so much that your abs feel like you’ve done the abs of steel video routine and came out on the losing end. Just a tiny little cough hurts so much that you actually wince with pain and let out a little “yelp!”. Not fun at all. So, here I am a week later on the tail end of this thing. Fever sang Auld Lang Syne a few days ago, throat really isn’t hurting anymore, BUT, that little piece of phlegm at the base of your throat, the one that wiggles every time you breathe in, the one that won’t break loose no matter how hard you cough or try to clear your throat, it’s still there. Since that lung cookie is still there that means Mr, Cough is still here and hasn’t let up. Your abs have adjusted and, if you look closely, you can probably see the faint outline of a six pack, but, the pain has subsided and the cough is on its own.

If you surf Facebook on a regular basis you have to have seen these cockamamie cure-alls that people post up all the time. Ear wax on a cold sore, orange peel on a hemorrhoid, you get the idea. Last night one of these health hacks came across my timeline. This one was telling how to kill the cough, stop the wheeze, delete the phlegm of the common cold by, wait for it……..dipping a cotton ball into rubbing alcohol, then putting the alcohol-soaked cotton ball into your belly button. Are you kidding me?

I’ll be honest with you, I’m not man enough to try these things on my own. Why in the world would I put a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol into my belly button? I have to admit though, desperate times call for desperate measures. That little phlegmy thing in my throat is driving me insane. I lie down to go to sleep and it sits there antagonizing me. Well, as fate may have played a part in this, my mom way over in Florida has been hacking and wheezing for the past week also. I wasn’t sure she would go for it, but, she’s been way more desperate than I have, I fired off a copy of the article to her praying that she would try it. Again, I gave it about a 20% chance that she would try it, but, like I said, she’s been feeling worse than I have been, and, well, she went for it. A talked to her about 12 hours later and her cough was nearly gone. I asked her and she said, “Yeah, things started clearing up fairly quickly after putting the cotton ball in her navel.” Well, We don’t have cotton balls or rubbing alcohol here, but, I do have these alcohol wipes that my doctor gives me to use when I’m giving myself my insulin shots. So, I took one, balled it up, and shoved it in there. That was probably 8 or 9 hours ago. As of this writing, my cough has also subsided quite a bit. That little phlegmy thing in my throat feels as if it may not be here much longer, and, overall, I feel much better. Now, was it the cotton ball? I don’t know, BUT, I will say this. Both my mom and I cleared our symptoms up within half a day after doing this.

I don’t know if the cotton ball is the reason, but, I will say this, I’ll have my rubbing alcohol and cotton balls ready next time for sure.

Y’all come back, I’ll leave the light on for ya.



ex-pat American living in Japan since 1991. Love to play guitar and billiards. Love my Cincinnati Bengals too. Who-Dey!!
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