Apple Sucks, Dude!!



When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house , I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home……wait a second, that was the Outsiders. Sorry for the plagiarism, Miss Hinton. I meant to pipe in about the Apple vs Android war that is all the rage.

If you’ve ever used the words “Apple Sucks” as your argument, then I’ve probably just dismissed you and haven’t tried to talk to you about it. There can be tons of reasons for not liking a product, but just tossing out “because it sucks, man” isn’t one of them. All that tells me is that you probably formed your opinion after looking at the front of a Wheaties box and saw your favorite star using something other than Apple. “Shit, Bruce Jenner likes it, it’s gotta be good”.

Nah, if you want to say that Apple sucks then at least have something to back it up…..something legitimate. I also see a whole lot of horse shit out there when these arguments start. Let me shoot down some of my favorites.

1) “Apple comes out with a brand new phone every year, money hungry bastards!!” This one has got to be the one that I give the “Highest Pile Of Steaming Horse Shit” award to. Dumbest argument that I’ve ever heard. Before getting into this blog I was curious as to how often Android phones are released. I mean, I’m an Apple user and it bothers me that they upgrade so often. Anyway, Android is an OS that will be hosted by many different phone makers, whereas Apple is just one. With that said, CLICK HERE to see a history of Android between 2009 and 2011. In just two years there are more phones on that page than I care to count. I repeat that the Android OS will be hosted on various manufacturers products so you can’t count every single one into the debate, but, if you look at Motorola alone, there has to be at least 20 different Motorola phones running Android. If I’m not mistaken, Apple has 6 (3, 3GS, 4, 4S, 5, 5S/5C). I’m not trying to say that the companies using Android are bad, all I’m saying is that EVERY SINGLE MANUFACTURER comes out with a new phone in about a year. They have to. Do you actually believe that Apple is going to put out a new iPhone and the other manufacturers aren’t going to put anything out to compete with that? That’s just silly. So, that argument is now squashed and you can no longer use it in good faith, because it’s a steaming pile of poo.

2) “The new iOS, or OS for the iMac’s and MacBooks, doesn’t support the apps/software I have on my 5 year old machine.” Ummm, Windows 8 won’t run a lot of software designed for Windows Vista. Need I really say more? New operating systems aren’t designed to run your old software, no matter if you’re Apple or PC. They don’t make money by allowing you to use old software/apps. (POW) Did you hear that? That was that argument being shot down….listen for the thud.

3) “Apple is so expensive” Ok, I’ll budge a little on this one. Apple products are expensive. 2 years ago when I got my first Mac I would have said ridiculously expensive, now, I’ll just say they are costly…..but you get what you pay for. My iPhone 4S is 2 years old, doesn’t have a scratch on it, and I’ve never had any issues with it other than right now this new iOS7 is sucking the battery like it’s a lollipop. I’ll find what’s eating it up though. Which takes us to…

4) Battery life. I hear so many non-iPhone using people saying things like “My battery lasts for 3 days” etc… No it doesn’t. It might if you never run anything, but if you’re watching YouTube, playing games etc… you have to charge your phone up everyday just like the rest of us. I have a Mophie Juice Pack, it’s a case with a built in battery that will charge my phone. The 2 together get me through the day with no problems. Sometimes, with light usage, I can even get half of another day in. That argument doesn’t float either. Move on!!

Now, for a legitimate gripe, I have a friend that said…

“I hate how apple controls every aspect of what you can do with your stuff”

Ok, that’s a fair argument, but I’d like to put my point of view on it. Apple doesn’t allow just anything to be put on it’s phones or computers. Every piece of software, every app etc… has to go through an approval system with Apple. Tight ass? You betcha, I won’t even argue that, but, with that said, you almost never have to worry about viruses and all other kinds of crap infecting your machine. I’m cool with that.


Which one is better? Neither one really. The best phone out there is the one that suits your needs. I make videos for YouTube, I surf the web, I check Facebook, Twitter, etc… I don’t play games. The iPhone does exactly what I need it to do. Will that be the same for you? Who knows, but before you decide, give them both an honest chance. Just saying that Apple sucks for the sake of saying it is ignorant.

As for the users of each, well, one of the reasons that Apple sets it’s prices so high is so they can cater to a specific demographic. They don’t want the toothless hillbillies in the trailer parks, usually known as Pittsburgh Steeler fans, advertising their gear. With that said, Apple surely has a large contingent of douche bags using their gear. The guys wearing wool caps in August and hipster glasses….you guys aren’t “cool”, you look more like a target for a punch in the throat than anything else.

Anyway, again, before making a decision on a phone, check them all out and see what your options are. And if you’re going to bring an argument against Apple, make it something more than “Apple sucks, dude!!”

Y’all come back, I’ll leave the light on for ya!


Posted in Things I think about | 5 Comments

Summer In Japan…..It Sure Is Hot!

Mt. Fuji

Summer is beginning to roll into central Japan and I gotta tell ya, this is my 22nd summer in Japan, and I still can’t get used to it. I’m originally from Cincinnati, Ohio in the US of A. As a Cincinnatian I was fortunate enough to grow up in an area that had all 4 seasons. I know there are probably going to be people in other areas of the United States that will take offense to what I say and say that they have 4 seasons too. Let’s take Florida for example. The seasons in Florida look something like this, Kill Me, I’m Gonna Die, You Gotta Be Kidding Me, and Jesus Christ!!. My mom lives in Clearwater, Florida. I’ll be talking to her sometimes in mid-winter and she’ll be telling me how cold it is……then she reports that it’s only in the lower 70’s. It takes everything I have to not hang up on her. Up in Cincinnati we actually go through 4 full seasons. It can get blistering hot in the summer, freezing cold in the winter, and spring/falls that make you glad that you’re alive. The one downside to living in Cincinnati is that you can experience all 4 seasons in a day. My wife and I went to my hometown one time and we arrived a few days before Halloween. The day we arrived it was perfect fall weather. Perfect for a long sleeve t-shirt or a very light jacket. We went to bed that night and when we woke up the next morning it was snowing and there was a wind chill of -20. Stupid me, I forgot about how temperamental the weather can be that time of year and we neglected to pack coats. Needless to say we were in the mall at opening time suiting up for the winter.

I first came to Japan for a vacation in August of 1990. It was hot when we left Cincinnati. We stopped over in Seattle for a few days and got the relief that the pacific northwest can bring. When we arrived at Narita I was so excited to get out of the airport and officially into Japan. We got our bags, breezed through customs, then headed outside to catch a bus into Tokyo. The Narita Express train was still about a year away from being born so we had to bus it. I glided through the concourse headed for the door. When the door slid open I was greeted with the most humid, stifling, stagnant, non-moving air that I had ever experienced. It was like walking into a brick wall. You step out and it literally hits you right in the face and makes you stop for a moment to give your brain a second to reconnect with the rest of your body and realize what is happening. Mix in the pollution stank from the cars and buses hanging in the air like a rancid bison carcass, and you’ve got something to write home about.

My destination in Japan was Shizuoka. I had been told so many times how mild the weather is in Shizuoka. “It doesn’t get as hot, or as cold, as other places in Japan.” I’d love to get into how the Shizuoka people say “it doesn’t get cold here” and then how I spend the entire winter frozen like a popsicle…..a “MULLYsicle” if you will, but that is for another day. Today we’re talking about summer. So I get to my destination and stayed there for about a month. To be totally honest, I didn’t notice much difference in the heat and humidity here in Shizuoka than I did when I was in Narita. There were times when I was sitting in the house where I was staying, with the doors and windows wide open, and without moving a muscle, I was sweating like a dyslexic at a countdown.

I’m a fat guy so hot weather is my mortal enemy. I don’t know why I decided to come back here to live, but I do remember that I decided while I was still here on that first trip. I even remember sitting there, with sweat trickling down from under my moobs, saying “this is where I want to be.” So, I went home, sold everything, and 6 months later I was back here…….for good. Like I said above, it’s been 22 years already and I have no plans on ever going back there to live. The summers here are miserable, but I can deal with it.

Now, what advice can I give you? Well, first, if you’re planning on a trip to Japan, I would highly recommend NOT coming anytime between June and October, unless you enjoy the torture. Oddly enough there are people that enjoy the heat. God only knows why, but they’re out there. To be totally serious/honest for a second. July and August are awesome in Japan. The heat is almost unbearable, but the festivals and the fireworks displays are second to none. Regardless of the heat, Japan has some really cool stuff to do in the summer. Ok, back to action…

Second, if you do come in the summer, dress lightly. Thin materials, things that breathe, things that will dry easily once you get into an air conditioned room. If you’re the type that tries to save a few bucks by buying really cheap underwear, you know the kind, 15 pair for like 3 bucks, stop it now. Get some quality underwear. Nothing sucks much worse than walking around with your underwear bunching up like a hammock between your legs. I’d also like to add that if you have tattoos on your legs then you need to be prepared to have your ink looked at, and not always in a kind way. You may get some dirty looks. Remember, you are a guest in another culture. A culture that doesn’t readily accept tattoos. I’m not saying it’s definitely going to happen, but you could actually get turned away from places because of the ink. Again, you are a visitor here, not the other way around. If you have a negative experience because of your ink just try your best to let it go and accept it for what it is, a different culture. I have ink and I have accepted the fact that it’s not always going to be welcomed.

Third, stay hydrated. I can’t emphasize that enough. Believe it or not, more than 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. We just don’t drink enough. What are the symptoms? Well, the first one is, obviously, thirst. If you’re feeling thirsty you’re already experiencing the effects. Other symptoms could be dry lips, dry mouth, headaches, fatigue, weakness, dizziness, cramps, and the list goes on. Make sure you’re getting enough liquids, and I’m not talking about hosing down a 12 pack of beer. You need water or some kind of sports drink that will rehydrate you. Here in Japan the 2 most popular sports drinks are called Aquarius and Pocari Sweat. Every once in a while you’ll come across a Gatorade, although Gatorade may be more readily available in the big cities like Tokyo and Osaka. Here in Shizuoka, not carried everywhere. By the way, coffee lovers, your brown nectar is NOT good for dehydration, just the opposite actually. So don’t go running to Starbucks to quench that thirst. The best thing you can do is drink water. Make sure you’re getting at least 2 liters per day. The good thing that I can report to you is that you’re not in Mexico. Water out of the tap in Japan is safe to drink. Of course there are going to be tin foil wearing conspiracy theorists out there that will tell you otherwise, but don’t listen to them. The water here is safe for consumption, and even if you are a little leery of that, every convenient store and drink vending machine has bottled water, and they don’t charge unGodly prices for them.

I guess that’s about it. If you’re planning a trip to Japan I wish you all the best. And if you need me to be your guide, forget it! It’s too hot! I’m staying in where the AC is.

Y’all come back, I’ll leave the light on for ya!


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Ray William Johnson And =3


If you’re a content creator on YouTube and you don’t know who Ray William Johnson is then you’ve had to have been vlogging from your closet. For those of you that don’t do much more on YouTube than watch your (insert family member here) do mundane crap like school plays, recitals, birthday parties etc…, then it’s time to step out of the box and check out RWJ’s channel. The concept behind Ray’s channel is that he reviews viral videos. It’s pretty much as simple as that. Imagine stepping back in time to the late 80’s and watching Bob Saget doing America’s Funniest Home Videos. It’s pretty much just like that…..except a lot more entertaining, and no Bob Saget….thank God. Ray reviews 3 videos each week and he tosses in a lot of one liners and gags to keep you at the screen.

Why am I doing a blog about RWJ? Well, up until recently he was the number one subscribed content creator in the world, with over 8 million subscribers. Sitting in that position may bring fame and fortune via YouTube, but it also brings along a lot of haters and trolls. As a content creator myself I’ve been fortunate that I don’t get a lot of trolls. But my channel is still relatively small. I’m in the 3400 subscriber range. I get the occasional insult about my weight, but I always wonder what they think they are going to accomplish by calling me a Pillsbury Doughboy?? Do they think I’m not aware of my girth? It’s not like I went to bed last night built like a Greek God and woke up this morning looking like 350lbs of chewed bubblegum. I put a lot of time and effort to get here. Anyway, back to Ray. I know a lot of people that are content creators that talk a lot of shit about Ray. Let me address 3 of the biggest negative comments I hear about Ray….in no particular order of popularity.

1) “He’s not funny” – Well, comedy is selective. What you find to be the funniest, most hilarious thing you’ve ever seen, I might find it to be comparative to sticking a pencil in my eye, and vice versa. Just because you, or I, don’t think something is funny doesn’t mean that it isn’t. It just isn’t to you…or me. In my personal opinion Ray is funny. Granted, there are shows that aren’t as funny as others, but for the most part I don’t get through an episode without at least a giggle, and when he throws the black baby into the wall….I’m damn near in tears. As a content creator myself I wonder if he writes all his dialog or if his staff helps. I tend to think that he’s the biggest contributor though.

2) “He’s Gay” – Ok, first off, have you seen his girlfriend? The one he lives with? Pretty hot Asian chick. As you guys know, I’ve been living in Japan since 1991. I have a soft spot for Asian women….or should I say a hard spot? Regardless, Ray is not a homosexual. Even if he was, who gives a shit? What business is it of yours? What does he do on camera that oozes gayness? If he was gay, how would that change anything about what he does? But again, it falls back to “what business is it of anyone else?” and “who really gives a shit?”.

3) “He makes a living off of other people’s work” – This is the big one for me. In my opinion, if Ray was taking the videos and ONLY showing those videos, then yeah, he’s making money of them like Nike does with Chinese kids chained to tables. But Ray doesn’t do that. He shows small portions of 3 different videos and comments on them. His comments are usually a lot more fun than the videos he’s reviewing. In turn, if your video gets reviewed by Ray William Johnson then your video is going to explode. To add to that, if you actually are a content creator and have more stuff up on your channel then your channel will explode too. So you see, Ray may be using other people’s videos as his medium, but the people that made those videos get something in return. It’s not like Ray took their video and uploaded it to his channel and got all the views and revenue from it. All that traffic goes to the content creator, as do the rewards. To give you a good example, I watched Ray review a channel that features “How To Do Anything” and the video Ray showed was “How To Throw Your Socks On The Floor”. The video itself was hilarious, a hand holding a pair of socks reaches into view and drops the socks on the floor. Finished. Brilliant!! When Ray reviewed that video the channel had like 1,500 subscribers. I kept tabs on it. Overnight that channel gained about 20,000 subscribers and the total views were through the roof. That guy definitely stepped into the big leagues as a result of Ray’s review. I just went and checked that channel. As of this writing that channel has 61,000 + subscribers and over 10 million video views. Fantastic!!! Content creators need to recognize what Ray has done for a lot of channels out there.

Anyway, my take on the hate for Ray William Johnson is that it boils down to a lot of envy for a guy that had an idea, ran with it, and became successful. Don’t hate on the guy because he got to it before you did. A lot of people starting out on YouTube think they are going to have instant success and make a living off of it. It doesn’t work like that. It takes a lot of time, talent, effort, and luck. See some of the behind the scenes stuff from =3 and you’ll see that they take almost an entire day just to shoot a 5 minute video. He’s not just walking in there, telling a few jokes, and uploading to YouTube. There is a LOT of work put into those episodes. Hell, my ThingzThatSuck videos are basically one minute videos, with no dialog, and one of those is easily 3 or 4 hours work for me. Add the time of coming up with the idea, working out the shots in my head etc… and there’s a half a day’s work right there for 60 seconds of video. And at this point in my YT career the payoff is minimal. A couple hundred views and it’s history. If I was in this for the money or fame I would have already driven off a cliff. I do this because I enjoy doing it. I’m content with my 500 views and socializing in the comments with my viewers. A shout from Ray wouldn’t upset me though. hahaha!!!

Y’all come back! I’ll leave the light on for ya!


Posted in Things I think about | 2 Comments

The Man Of Steel


Something a lot of people don’t know about me is that I am a HUGE fan of Superman. It all started when I was a kid. I grew up in the mid to late 70’s and the old Superman TV series was constantly in syndication and being re-run all the time. I loved watching that show. In 1978 the first Superman movie came out with Christopher Reeve and Gene Hackman. I was so stoked to see that movie, oh my God!! To this day I can sit down and watch that movie anytime…..I just watched it a few days ago to be totally honest with ya. Anyway, today’s blog isn’t me trying to delve into the history of Superman. No, today’s focus is on the suit. As many of you know there will be a new Superman movie coming out in June titled “Man Of Steel”. A quick search on YouTube will give you a few different trailers to check out. The one thing that really sticks out is the new suit, and that is why we’re here, to give my opinion on the various incarnations and to hopefully get opinions from others. Ok, take a minute or so and really look over these. Left to right is the original Superman suit worn by George Reeves, the 1978 suit worn by Christopher Reeve, Superman Returns worn by Brandon Routh, and the upcoming Man Of Steel worn by….well, that’s actually an action figure, there aren’t any really good head to toe shots of the new suit out there yet. Anyway, take a minute or two to go over these…. Suits   Ok, I was wanting to do these one by one, but, for the sake of argument, can we agree that the George Reeves version and the Christopher Reeve version are pretty much the same? I mean, yeah, George had those big, granny bloomers shorts, the belt is a little different, and the cape doesn’t come around the sides. Other than that though they didn’t really stray too far from the original when they suited up Christopher Reeve. Even the color of the suit itself, I believe the picture I have of George Reeves up there has been manipulated. I’m fairly certain that the blue is pretty much the same too, or really damn close to it. So… Superman 1978 – Christopher Reeve: Ok, no matter where the suit goes from this point forward, the 1978 will *ALWAYS* be *THE* suit. It doesn’t matter if you prefer Superman Returns or the new Man of Steel, there will always be a place in your heart for the original. A friend of mine was just telling me a little while ago that no matter what he sees, when he thinks of Superman, he sees Christopher Reeve. Maybe it’s our generation, I don’t know, but I have to side with him on that. That movie had way too much impact for it to ever die or be taken over by another movie. This upcoming Man of Steel for example. It could be the greatest super hero movie of all time, break all box office records, kids could be carrying the lunch box, it will always be second fiddle to the original, because……well…….that’s just how it goes. Back to the suit though, Christopher Reeve, at 6’4″ tall pretty much had the perfect build for that particular suit. If you follow the comics you would have noticed that as the years went on Superman got progressively bigger and more cut, like a body builder. I was never really into that aspect of it though. It looked so fake………….like any of this isn’t?!?! Superman Returns – Brandon Routh: Superman Returns probably ranks as my favorite of all the Superman movies. It will never have the allure of the 1978 original, but I really, really enjoyed it. I saw it the day it came out…..while I was in Australia on vacation. The first thing that stuck out to me was the suit. Brandon Routh, at that time, was very muscular and the suit fit him really well. I’m not entirely sure how tall he is. It took me a little while to get used to the suit though. I wasn’t really too thrilled with the color of red they chose, I’m still not entirely thrilled about that color……if we’re being entirely honest about all of this. It’s not “Superman” red. The suit itself kicks ass though. The trunks have been lowered, the belt buckle has been changed, the “S” on the chest looks like some sort of carbon shield rather than the sewn on “patch” logo, for lack of a better term. The cape is longer and the boots are pretty butch. The only minus point for this suit is the color of the red. Man of Steel – Henry Cavill: The suit for the millennium. This new suit, I have mixed feelings about it. Let’s be positive here first. It looks bad ass!! It’s totally updated to fit the times we are living in. A Christopher Reeve style suit would not fit too well in 2013. I’ll gladly admit that. But, with that said, this suit does have it’s flaws. I’m not 100% sold on the colors as of yet. I don’t hate the colors, but they wouldn’t have been my choice. I would have at least stayed to the tradition of the blue and red. But, again, I don’t totally hate this suit. It does look really bold. I think my two biggest problems with the suit are these. First, my friend came in and I showed him the pics of the new suit. He said “I like it, but it looks sort of like the Batman suit”. Well, whaddya know, this movie is produced by the same person that did the Dark Knight trilogy. Ya think he had a hand in the suit? I do. So, I’m not hip on all the muscles that this suit portrays. I would much prefer to see a really well built person wearing the spandex and get the natural muscle tone out of him. Don’t get me wrong, Henry Cavill has the body for it, he just should heave had a different suit. Second, no trunks. I’m sorry, I just don’t think I can get on board with the no trunks look. Superman has trunks and a belt. End of story. Now, I posted on a thread somewhere that I was hoping they hadn’t gotten rid of the Superman theme music with this new movie. It wasn’t long before the trolls came out. I got a really irritable message from someone with his caps lock key stuck. He proceeded to tell me that they purposely hadn’t used the music, suit etc… because they are trying to part ways with the original. He also told me that that was why they titled it “Man Of Steel” rather than Superman. Moron, Superman has always been the “Man Of Steel” and always will be. Naming the movie that doesn’t remove the fact that this is a Superman movie. You can call a Granny Smith a Granny Smith until you’re blue in the face. At the end of the day it’s still a fucking apple. Bottom line is this. I am really looking forward to seeing this new Superman movie. I’m the type of person that can rank a movie on it’s own merits. If they made a quality flick I’m sure I’ll enjoy it to the teeth. I can be objective and not compare it to it’s predecessors. It could even turn out to be my favorite in the Superman series. I won’t know until I see it. I’ll always think the suit needs shorts and the colors could use some adjustments, but that is personal preference. I surely won’t shoot the movie down just because they didn’t make the suit I would have made…..and again, this suit does look pretty bad ass all on it’s own. MULLY’s call on the suits? Hmmm, I think my favorite suit is going to be the Brandon Routh suit from Superman Returns…..with a tweak to the red. It’s updated enough to not look ancient, but it has stayed with the spirit of the classic Superman suit. I’d like to add one more thing about the newest suit. I saw some pictures on the net where someone had photoshopped some different versions of this idea. The top left is, what I believe, will be in the movie. The other 3 are just color varations. Which one do you like? TX29XMe? I’d go with the bottom right. Y’all come back, I’ll leave the light on for ya. MULLY The new S on the chest looks killer despite what my earlier opinion on colors was. I really like this S.

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A Letter To My 10 Year Old Self



Hey, Little MULLY!!

Dude, you’re not even MULLY yet….I’ll get to that. Man, where should I start? A lot of things are coming up in your life. I guess right now your mom is finishing up her second marriage from that abusive assclown she was married to and your dad is probably finishing up his second marriage from that stone cold bitch he was married to. Don’t worry though, man, good things are on the horizon. In another 2 years your dad is going to marry a wonderful woman that will take you in and love you as her own. She’ll be the one raising you over the next several years so make sure to be good to her. I know you will be though so I’m not concerned about that. What? You say you’re living with your mom and sister right now and want to know how you get to living with your dad? Well, dude, you were a handful. Pretty soon you’re going to be moving into an apartment over the dance studio and you’re going to start spending a lot of time at the pizza shop and running the streets with your friends. Your friends aren’t bad kids but you guys are going to be doing a lot of things that could get you in trouble. Your mom put up with it for quite a while but, in the end, you needed a man around to keep you in check. Your mom also thought you would benefit from having a regular home life so she did everything she could to protect you and sent you off to live with your dad. Don’t worry about that though, either, you see her pretty much every weekend until she gets married again and moves to Florida….We’re getting ahead of ourselves though.

Dude, around the 6th grade you do something really stupid, you’re in downtown Cincinnati with Diedre and the two of you sneak into a doorway on 6th street and try smoking cigarettes. Man, do me a favor, if that offer comes up again, run away. You’ve never been the type to bend because of peer pressure, you’ve always done your own thing and told everyone else to FO if they didn’t like it. Do that with smoking too, please. Hey, here’s a tip for ya, take that cigarette money and put it away every day until you become me. You’ll probably have enough to retire….twice.

When you’re about 14 your mom is going to re-marry and move to Florida, I mentioned that before. The guy she marries is super cool and, like your stepmom, he treats you as if you are one of his own. He’s a really good person and has your best interests at heart. Guess what? You’re going to be moving to Florida with them. Hey, that first morning when he’s taking you to school, he’s going to be telling you to tuck in your shirt and tie your shoes. Don’t be such a fucking dick with him about it. He’s only trying to take care of you. Tuck your damn shirt in and tie your shoes, you can always untuck and untie after he leaves. I don’t want to spend a whole lot of time telling you about Florida, but I do want to ask a favor of you, one day about 3 months into your stay there you’re going to be in the living room watching TV and your mom will be in the bedroom ironing. When she starts complaining about whatever it is she’s complaining about you’re going to fly off the handle and say some really mean, mean things to her. Things so mean that she kicks your ass out and sends you back to Kentucky that same day. Your ass will be on a Greyhound before 8:00 that evening. Keep your smart ass mouth shut. You need to get back to Kentucky, because you’ll never be where I am now without it, but try to find a better way. God, you’re going to go through a real time of being a prick while you’re down there. Keep cool, man!! It’s not as bad as you think it is.

When you get back to Kentucky you’re going to be meeting a lot of new friends in high school. You’re a smoker and you enjoy getting high with your friends. You never experiment with anything other than pot so I won’t get on you about it, but, dude, you make friends with a couple of guys named Klaene. Neither of them is afraid to try the next drug of choice. Dude, you gotta find a way to knock some sense into them. That shit follows them into adult life and eventually takes both of their lives. Chris dies when you guys are 30, and Adam hangs around until almost 40. Adam seemed to be clean there at the end but the years of abuse were just too much for his heart. They’re your best friends, man, watch over them.

High school life in general is going to be good, man. You’re going to have a whole lot of friends and you’re going to be pretty popular. Why? Well, I’m not really sure, but I think it’s because you don’t play favorites. It’s that leadership quality I was talking about before. You’re not really going to care if someone is a stoner, a jock, a brainiac, or a loser. You never really care what other people think if they see you talking with someone that everyone else dislikes. You’re friendly to everyone. Keep that quality…..what am I saying, you do.

Hey, I told you before that you like getting high with your friends. Well, let me tell you about the night you stop doing that. You’re going to go out with your friend, Rick, to a bar called Annie’s, and you’re going to drink a whole lot of just about everything you can get your hands on. You’re going to leave there pretty wasted and Rick is going to drop you off out at Chris and Adam’s house. When you get there that whole gang of people is going to be sitting around smoking pot. When you walk in the party starts up again and you guys are going to smoke a whole whole lot. Then you’re going to go down to the basement and pass out on the sofa. You’re going to wake up the next morning half on and half off the sofa and your face is going to be resting on this plastic pumpkin that kids use for trick or treating. The pumpkin is going to be filled with puke. I’m guessing one of the guys put you over it so you wouldn’t choke to death on your own puke. You obviously laid there with your face in that bucket for hours though because all the blood vessels around your eyes were busted and you looked like Mike Tyson tooled you up. You’re going to call it quits right then and there and never touch the stuff again. Sometimes bad things can lead to good things. Enjoy that night, man, the hangover the next day is a life changer.

College is going to be a blur. Nothing really special is going to happen there until you find your job downtown. When you get there, your life is going to take a turn that you never dreamed of.

You’re going to meet a Japanese girl and she’s going to introduce you to her Japanese friend. In the end, you end up going to Japan and staying there…..well…..until you’re me. But that is jumping way ahead of ourselves here. I gotta tell you a few more things.

When you’re 21 you’re going to be living with the Japanese girl and you’ll have plans to get married. Man, a few weeks before your 22nd birthday you’re going to get a phone call early on a Friday morning telling you that your dad is dead. Man, that is going to be the toughest thing you’ve ever had to deal with. You’re going to be lost and have so many questions about life. It’s going to take everything you have in you to stay away from getting drunk or doing some drugs to kill the pain, but you’re going to be strong enough for that. Thank your girlfriend for being there. It’s gonna be really dark though, man. I just wanna warn you. Hey, do me a favor, would ya? The weekend before your dad dies he calls you on a Sunday morning and asks you to come out to the house. It’s going to sound really strange to you because he had never done that before. Do me this huge favor, don’t tell him that you’ll be out next weekend. Get up off the sofa, get a shower and go spend the entire day with him. Tell him you love him and give him the biggest hug you’ve ever given anyone. Or better yet, tell him to go to the doctor and get his heart checked. Kind of a catch 22 on that one though. I’m not sure you’ll go where I am if he’s still there. Again, good things come from the bad…..and, man, there are some really good things coming up for you.

You’re going to Japan!!!! Yes, you actually get on a plane and go to Japan for a vacation. While you’re there you fall in love with the place and decide to move over there. Guess what? You decide to go for one year, make some money, then go back to Cincinnati……then you never return. You and your wife will live with her parents for a few years and then you get out on your own. You’ll be about 25 or 26 when you finally get your own place. Things will go well but slowly you and your wife are going to grow apart. I guess it’s the changes of growing up. You get married way to young, man. You know, I would tell you not to get married so young, but again, it’s part of the puzzle that gets you here to me.

You’re going to get divorced, and although you both know it’s over, it’s still gonna suck on some level. But you guys remain friends with each other so at least there’s no super bad blood between you. It’s after your divorce that things are going to fall into line.

You’re going to meet a girl at your school and fall head over heels in love with her. This is the one, man. This is the person that is the entire reason that you were put on this earth. Remember all those shitty things I told you about? If those things don’t happen just like that you’ll never meet this girl……and that would be the ultimate crime. She’s going to be the most important thing you’ve ever had in your life. She’s going to be the reason you want to wake up every morning. Without her, you’re just wasting your time here.

Now that you know all this stuff it’s up to you to walk the path, man. You now have the knowledge to make changes in your life and change the course of certain events. You can do whatever you feel is best for you, man, but just make sure that you make it to Japan and make sure that you meet that girl. Your life will be nothing without her.

Hey, before I go, I do have a few things I’d specifically like you to do for….us. First, practice your guitar more. Music will play an important part of your life when you’re me. Stick to it and practice as much as you can. Second, man, get some exercise and start eating right. Don’t let your weight go. Start now! Start right now!!

Well, man, that’s about it. There are so many things I didn’t tell you about, but, you’ll find them out as you go. You have a great life staring you in the face, man. As they say, the world is your oyster. Go get ’em, tiger!!



P.S. I forgot to tell you about when you become “MULLY”. I won’t give details, but it involves a pint of 151 Rum and a Volkswagen Beetle.  :+)

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Get Rich From YouTube



My friend Kevin, also known as JLandKev/BusanKevin, made a video earlier this week talking about people starting up YouTube channels with the intention of making a quick buck and making some cold hard cabbage. You can watch it here…

Did you like the video? If you did, make sure you subscribe to Kevin…and tell him MULLY sent ya.

Anyway, I’m gonna have to side with Kevin on this one. Starting a YouTube channel with the intention of making money is going to lead you to a lot of realities. As of this date, I am closing in on 3,200 subscribers to my main channel. I have 4 channels though. All 4 channels together I’d say I have about 6,000 subscribers. Sure, a lot of them are people that are subbed to all of my channels, but, numbers are numbers and there is no way around it. Now, with that out of the way, my main channel is fully partnered on YouTube so it receives all the benefits. Do I make money from YouTube? You bet your ass I do. Do I make enough that I’m going to get rich from it? HA!! Not likely. I’ll be lucky if I’ll be able to take my wife out to dinner once every other month from it.

So many people say that we aren’t allowed to talk about how much we make, but that’s actually not true. There is nothing in the YouTube TOS that says we aren’t allowed to disclose what we make. So, here ya go, I’m gonna let you in on the secret that so many hold dear. With YouTube revenue they will hold the money you make until you reach a threshold of 10,000 yen (that’s roughly a hundred bucks in real money). Once you hit that amount they will either send you a check, barbaric, or they will deposit the funds directly into your bank account. I can’t give you an exact amount that I make, because it’s always different, but I can tell you this, I get paid once every 2 to 3 months. So, do the math, I’m making about 30 bucks a month doing what I do. Fully partnered, 3,000+ subscribers, about 30,000 total views per month. When I get my payment it disappears before I even realize I had it.

You have to be making an insane amount of views on YouTube to think about getting rich. Hell, even living off of YouTube money would be a feat. I occasionally drop into the partner forum on YouTube to peruse the threads and so many times I see people bitching and complaining about YouTube changing the algorithm, which in turn makes their views go down, which in turn makes them less money. The funny part is this, you’ll see a post like this…

“GOD DAMMIT YOUTUBE!!! You made this or that change and now my views have been cut in half. I make my living off of this and you’re taking away my livelihood. I won’t make rent this month.”

Then they post a link to their channel. Someone like me is like “Daaammnn!! This dude is paying his rent from YT money? I gotta see this!” so I head to his channel and he has like 150 subscribers and his highest viewed video may have a thousand hits. I then giggle, partly because he was talking himself up so much, and partly because I’m trying to imagine an apartment that rents for about 37 cents a month.

Nope, if you’re wanting to start a channel with the sole intention of getting rich from it, give it up now, unless you are extremely talented and extremely patient. I was fortunate in that my very first video went viral. That helped me build my subscriber base, but that’s about it. To be fair, a viral video can be great for a quick spike in the cash flow, but it’s going to come to an end quickly. It will always be there generating revenue, but once the viral part of it is done, you’re back to square one. Mine? By the time I became partner my video had run it’s course. To this day, 2 and a half years later, I think it’s made about 50 bucks total……if that.

My suggestion is this. If you have a need to put yourself out there then go for it. Enjoy making your videos. Get to know the people that comment. Enjoy yourself. You never know, one day something could happen that could send you out there into the world of the big YouTubers, but that’s doubtful. If you start now I could shout out your channel and MAYBE get you 50-100 subscribers, but that’s it. If someone like Kevin shouted you out you could get maybe double that, I did, but that slows down too. Now, if someone like Ray William Johnson shouts you out then you’ll be talking about making a living. But chances of that happening are slim to none. Make videos because you enjoy making videos. Let your channel grow, give it time. Don’t go buying that new Mercedes though.

Y’all come back, I’ll leave the light on for ya!!


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Apple Computers Are For Retards


Ok, before anyone barbecues me for the title of this post let me say right now that I am not trying to insult anyone that has a mental disability, like Downs syndrome, or anyone that has a family member that has to deal with it. No, what I mean by retards are people like myself. People that are just totally stunted when it comes to using, or I should say, knowing how to deal with a computer.

Anyway, my first experience with a computer, on a personal basis, was way back when Windows 95 came out. Since that time I used just about every version of Windows up to Windows 7. I was one of those people that thought Apple was for the snooty ass people that think they’re better than everyone around them. The idiots you see sitting in Starbucks with their hoity-toity mocha mint, extra frothy, cappuccino with a twist. And before I get barbecued for that, I don’t drink coffee so I totally made that up. I have no idea if that even exists, those are just words I’ve heard in conversation when people are talking about that nasty ass drink. Back to the pretentious tree huggers. You know who they are, they sit there in the middle of summer wearing a God damned wool cap…..and some of those pompous assholes even have a muffler around their neck. They sit there with their coffee on the table and their MacBook’s in their laps. 1 person sitting at a table for 4 ignoring the fact that people are waiting to get in and sit down. And God forbid you try to strike up a conversation with them, although I can’t imagine why you’d want to, they look down at you like you’re the lowest form of scum on the planet….unless you have a MacBook under your arm, then they turn it into who has the better Mac. Uggghhh!!!

Well, I’ve figured them out, they’re morons. They don’t know how to take care of computer problems. How did I come to this assumption? I switched over to the dark side about a year and a half ago. Recommendations from friends on YouTube steered me towards an iMac, because I was mainly wanting something for video editing. I had always heard that Macs were good for the artsy-fartsy stuff so I figured “What the hell!” I mean, I still had a Windows laptop that I would be using for work, the iMac would be just for video work. So, I jumped in head first and got the most powerful iMac that was available to me at the time. Oh, I should mention that before I bought the iMac I learned that you could partition the hard drive and install Windows. DONE!! That is exactly what I did. Perfect, I could use the Mac side for videos and then switch over to Windows for everything else. I have to admit to being a little intimidated by the iMac. For so many years I had heard how different they were to operate than a Windows machine. That had me a little unsettled and I was a little worried that having to learn something entirely different may burn me out pretty quick. But, hey, I still have that Windows partition to fall back on.

With the help of a Macintosh For Dummies type book, I began learning how to operate a Mac. That eased my anxiety quite a bit. I was finding that operating a Mac really isn’t that much different than operating a Windows machine. Just that some things were in different places and had different names…..of course they were names that sounded like those windbag Mac users would use. It’s not a “tool bar” it’s a “dock”. It’s not “System Restore” it’s “Time Machine”. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Anyway, things have different names and are in different places, but, overall, it’s pretty much as easy to operate as what I was used to. Then something happened, as I began to learn new things on my own I began to realize that a Mac does things the way they are supposed to be done. What I mean by that is that they do things the way common sense would tell you to do them. Just an example off the top of my head, I was wanting to print out some music sheets from this PDF file that I had downloaded. The PDF file had the entire album’s song list in it but I only need to print the one song, but I didn’t know how to do that on a Mac. What the hell, give it a shot, right? I clicked on the first page of the song, held down the shift key, as you would in Windows, then clicked on the last page. That selected all the pages in between too. Cool!! That worked as I had hoped. Next I need to print. Well, “File, Print” always worked before so let’s give it a shot. “File”…….search the list…there it was, “Print”, (click) and my printer started rattling. Awesome, it worked the exact same way that a Windows machine would work. I can mark that off my list. When I looked over at my printer I noticed something interesting, it was printing from the last page first. That means that, when it was finished, I didn’t need to rearrange all the pages to get them in order… we all know, Windows prints from first to last so you have to shuffle them when it’s finished. I was excited about this fact and I made a post on Facebook praising Mac and insulting Windows. I was quickly told that you can do the same thing in Windows if you go into the properties then click this and that etc… Why should I have to go into the properties? Why are all those clicks necessary? I’ve never met anyone that wants page 12 to be first and page 1 to be last. The computer should do that for you.

So that is what I started noticing. Every time I learned something new I would say to myself “Of course, that’s how it should be. Anyone with half a brain would figure it should happen like this” So that was how I came to the conclusion that Macs are for retards. Macs are made for people that have no idea how to tackle a problem with a computer. They’re made for people that don’t really have any skills on the actual inner workings of a computer. They’re made for people that just want to get on a computer and have the damn thing work the way it should. And I don’t mean to insinuate that all Mac users don’t know the inner workings of a computer, what I mean is that if you’re just starting out, and have no interest in learning how to work on a computer, Mac is for you. With a Windows machine, if you want to get rid of a piece of software, you hit the start button, go to control panel, find the section where the software is, wait forever for that page to load up, select the software you want to get rid of, hit the uninstall button, then wait so you can answer the flurry of questions it’s about to spit out at you….all the while stalling the uninstalling process so you have to sit there for 10 minutes waiting for this thing to do it’s job. With a Mac, grab the icon of the software you want to remove and drag it to the trash can. DONE!! The computer will do the rest of the work for you, in the background, so you can be on your merry way. Not to mention that it actually deletes the software and all of it’s components that a Windows machine had thrown all over God’s creation and left those pieces there for you to go looking for to delete one by one.

Since I bought my iMac, I think it was April of 2011, I have added a MacBook pro to my arsenal and the roles have been reversed. The only thing I use on the my Windows laptop is my video editing software. Everything else I do is on a Mac. I don’t think you’ll be seeing me in Starbucks with my wool cap on though. If you do, shoot me.

Y’all come back, I’ll leave the light on for ya!


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